Saturday, June 30, 2012

The Magickal Evocation of Wise Dragons


1.

Upon an early summer Saturday evening, I found myself drawn into a magickal ritual working of Celtic/Chinese descent. Its’ overtones that of classical Victorian era mages, yet eclectic in its’ chemistry and machinations. Through the aroma of  frankincense and the bouquet a delicious merlot, I invoked the ancient ones at the compass points. Sword flailing in an adagio, flickering light from the candles, refracting its beams in the black mirror I had previously adorned with the proper occult insignias. I uttered their names in the voice that comes from somewhere within, I know not where, when I perform such acts of magick.

I plunged the tip of my sword into the menses of the chalice and evoked out loud in an unbrushed tirade of Latin. Calling upon the dragons to show me the way of strength through this passage of my life. Communicators, I am to understand, they were back then although no longer active on this earth. Their wars long since fought, both within and without they have since cast themselves to the next reality. But they remain in touch with us, should we desire or need the council of these warriors of whom much has been misunderstood and a deep brotherhood remains to be consummated between us and them.

This shall remain so until the concept of ‘us versus them’ shatters and dematerializes from our field of vision.

He introduced himself, after a bit of coaxing, as Franken. A dragon of obvious proportion, fortitude and will. Like the others, he was a target to chastise for possession of passion and courage. To question, to dare to work his magick for the peace of the planet. To dispel with fire those who would deviate from the essence of our mutual creation.

He displayed to me his ability to spin like a cyclone, to breathe fire as if it were air. To spread his concealed wings at the last possible moment and ascend into space, much to the confounding of their opposers. His grace in the water, his heart of forged steel containing the poet he never came to be in his thousand years upon man’s earth. Flailing above lances and torches and below the understanding of God that created him, he hovered. Wings like a bumblebee. Heart of an impassioned warrior. Rough-hewn diamond version of a holy lamb. He called out to me from his next life. Just as I called out to him from the previous incarnation of mine. The need for a friend transcends all space, time and continuity. Amongst the aethyrs, we found each other. His name is Franken. I am hereby gladly charged to tell his story. 

2.

We were forced into war because of their jealousy. Because of our physical size and their desire to reign supreme. We were the cave dwellers, working our spells and foraging the wild gardens. They called us enemy and drew their swords. We spread our wings and gasped for breath at their warfare. Disastrous ancestral bile met with life giving oxygen culminating in vomitous flames upon their battalions.

Thus the battle ensued.

We took to the sky and they to their churches regaling with warnings of we the blasphemous spawn. They evoked their perverted vision of the Christeos to justify their rebellion of us they chose not to understand.

It became so that we drew our flames against their swords to persevere in an effort for our survival. For our children and ancestry. Forming DNA spirals while copulating with our loved ones, populating the underworld with dragons of peace and fortitude. Preservers of the planet's equilibrium. Iron fisted against the adversary's evil decree to overturn apple carts and dismember logic that welds harmonious unction to the tree of life.

But it was not to be so. the chosen ones wanted war. To prove their brutality was less than their equanimity. To prove their superiority above the elemental. To prove to no one but themselves they were the highest.  What transpired between the initial battle cry and the day we laid our heads down to weep before the last gasp and transcend into the absolute left God aghast and we were absorbed into lifeless fairy tales.

3.

When his sword tip perpetrated the first tissue layers of my heart, I felt angry that his tenacity superseded mine. Then I realized, as the edges plunged further unraveling my demise, that this episode could never have been revealed otherwise. The small and oppressed vanquishing their acquired oppressor.

It is what they needed at that point in their history to further mankind's evolution. I pray that since our deaths and assumption into the hereafter that these beasts known as men have aspired and achieved an understanding of mortality and eternity.

By slaughtering and killing us, may they soon find a portal to inoculate their idiocy from contaminating future generations of their species. For as afflicted as we were by their unjustified demonization do I fear they have run out of dragons and sea monsters, poltergeists and satans to vilify for the ills of mankind. Now they crucify each other,
politics versus religion,
homosexuals versus pragmatists,
vegans versus heretics,
anyone versus everyone else,
who hungers for reconciliation
but settles instead
for pointless
endless
stupid
war.

Although we have ascended
and are remembered only in zoos
by Kimodos
and blue tailed skinks
emerald pythons
and albino cobras
we live still
at the heart of your spine
and the root between your eyebrows
in an equilibrium
manifesting metamorphosis
from your archaic tribal
primal
circular
pissings
to a reality
we know you can be
once you have run the course
of casting each other
as martyrs and hellions
dispensing justice
as your dim eyes see fit
finally castrating your blindness
guiding your clueless canoe
to the eternal ocean
from the tumultuous river
that flows
somewhere
between chaos and zen.
 
May it be so. It is so.



All my love,

Max


Saturday, June 23, 2012

We, the Invisible


1.

Poking the full moon

with the tip of my sword

she cries at my provocation

weeping upon waters

drizzling clouds

fertile grounds

for reclamation.


The moment of birth

snatched from this earth.

Devildom hides in pacification.

The lawyers true test

of equilibrium rests

with Peter and the saints

religiousness taints

the sweat drawn

from acquiring wisdom.


Arrows and scorns

obscuring vision.

Blithely they cry

and turn a blind eye

to the sound of horns

from the kingdom.

Lightning flash by

in thunder they diein ignorance of bells

and the angels who ring them.



2.

It is perhaps when things go askew is when I begin to realize the depth of radioactivity of these powers. When all is flowing like a swan in flight, Bruce Lee in slow motion is when I am oblivious to the siddhis, occult transmissions, gifts of the magi that I have brought upon myself.


The old chestnut 'Be careful what you wish for, you just might get it' applies more so nowhere else than in the world of one chooses and is chosen to live their life as that of a practicing occult magician. An intrepid explorer of the mysteries, psychonaut, shaman long beyond dabbler, armchair observer or Harry Potter fan. the word 'occult' is probably one of the most misunderstood terms in our language. After all these years of personal exploration, denial and re-immersion, I may now be at the beginning of understanding the worlds and purpose of the unseen realm known as magic or magick or what ever you wish to call it or how you wish to spell it.


Especially when, after last night, something goes wrong. Like a whipsaw blade that backfires and ricochets off a sap knot, the energies let me know that I am not as smart as I think I am. When I burn my hands on the candle flames, drop the incense burner or spill the chalice of wine, it is not a sensation beyond aggravation but one of supreme and utter failure. It is a small and subtle reminder of how disastrously wrong ones personal universe could swerve if not properly respected and tended to.

To paraphrase a passage from one of the ancient grimiores....

 ...we who practice magic are no smarter, no more gifted and privileged than those who do not. We are prone to the same pitfalls, depressions, ills and tribulations as those of the non-magical persuasion. The only difference between us is that we realize the closeness of a world inhabited with beings beyond that of our own. We can access them for guidance and assistance on our journey through this life. However, what we make of this realization is ultimately our choice. Do we help ourselves and others to be better and wiser people or do we delude ourselves with unrealistic expectations and overblown egos? Do we turn away in disheartened disappointment and disgust when the results of our rituals do not match that of our initial plans? Or do we come to accept, like all smart ninjas, we do not really control anything but our own actions and responses to whatever the world presents to us? Or do we turn into bitter sons of bitches, cynical to all that we were once blindly faithful? Do we extinguish the candles and incense, put away the the daggers and chalices into drawers to be forgotten, drink our wine from non-sacred vessels and replace our cakes of light with cool ranch Doritos? Do we put a TV upon what was once an altar, turn on a Harry Potter dvd and say 'Yeah what a bunch of awesome bullshit that is? Or do we choose and re-choose to learn from it all time and time again?.........


3.

Witchcraft moon

on the heather shining

as if it is day.

Devils and angels fight for a seat

at the perimeter of the circle

casting roses and curses at its boundary.

Flashing of swords

describe a cry

for mercy from Heaven

and repentance from Hell

binding the seals

of spirits ancient

from time immemorial

shattering the division

of earth and sky

God and Man

witch and queen

warrior and heathen.

Burning the leaves

of the snakes tree

swirling the wine

of these ways

we the invisible

fly and feast

with the gnomes

in their dreams.

We appear beside

the wounded in battle

and fling forth the miracle

that confounds the Leviathan earthbound

and sails with Ra

on the ocean of day.

We light the torches and sing

silent words in unseen languages

of the chariot

the eye and the stars

in a circle

around the head

of a Christ

unknown on this earth.

Whether you believe or not (I have seen too much to not believe), I wish you             all my love,
Max

Saturday, June 16, 2012

Fuck Your Blindfold You Might As Well Shoot


I was trying

like hell

not to cry

before going to bed

tonight

but that failed

miserably

as do all assumptions

that think my heart

can be held in check

while a violence

flows beneath me

like a scorpion

being crushed

by my backbone

in the excruciating desert

upon which

I am hog tied

drizzled with molasses

and sequestered

upon an anthill

in the torturous summer

cadaverous sunbeams

delivering cremation

to armies

I have unbeknownst

dispatched

and trials ignited

that I am unaware

of their proceedings

hanging juries

awaiting my acquittal

suspending verdicts

plotting

my ultimate demise.



You might as well shoot.


I've long since quit smoking

and fuck your blindfold.

It clashes

with my heart stained arm band



I have appeared

naked in public

more times

than I can recall

baring my soul

spouting my sex

running

toward the object

of my affection

blindly

tumbling

ascensions destroyed

hierarchies crumbling

illusions decimated

unraveling

illustrious

imagery

concocted

in unillumined

brilliance



and still I rise

like Maya Angelou

told me to

unceasingly

until the perfection

of my illusion

crystallizes

and is impregnated

in a feverous dream

above my head

and within reach

of our infinite soul.

In all ways, all my love always,
Max


Sunday, June 10, 2012

Cursing A Blue Streak At Jesus


I was in therapy and on Xanax over the shenanigans and goings over my stupid job at a toxic and dysfunctional company (who I'll call the '9th Gate of Hell' Inc.) run by petty liars, sloppy drunks and bullies that I had given way too much of my time, energy and consideration. Fortunately, part of my psyche was about to extract itself to observe my beleaguered mind from an analytical distance as it went through a full blown depression and sustained fits of anxiety.



This was exacerbated by a very clear awareness of my history and subsequent triumphs over addiction, abuse and injustices that led me to a severe disappointment in myself for letting this meaningless job and insignificant company get to me as badly as it did.



I observed my mind mapping out my suicide. It indulged in research of the Samurai ritual of hari kari and tales by Carlos Casteneda of the ancient shaman diving off cliffs to be suspended momentarily in midair before being absorbed into the upper world to be reunited with ancestors and ancient intelligences. I did yoga every morning and tantric magick every night in hopes of lifting my self from these ugly depths and persevering until I could extricate myself from this daily sludge and misery.



I would flee to my self constructed temple night after night, strip naked and chant over circles of prayer beads and diagrams of the universe scrawled upon parchment with concoctions of sacred herbs and olive oil. I would be driving in the car and observe points north on the road of groves of trees and secluded underbellies of bridges that I would include as points on the map where I would sleep for the night when it came time for me to leave my family and begin my sojourn to find my final place of self induced rest.



I watched myself compose in my head the letter of departure and apology to my children more times than I can approximate. As far as my wife was concerned, I observed myself reasoning that it was the lesser of two evils to fail her as an invisible corpse than as a burden of a broken soul polluting her home from day to day to day and on into infinity for the rest of our lives.



In short, I was worth more dead than alive and in death I could so much more easily work the magick I've embraced for so long with a deftness and greater finesse than I ever could while trapped in this snare of human flesh. I could finally be free to be the angel and magus I ultimately aspire to be. The reward of my death would culminate in an ultimate good for us all. It made perfect sense. Suicide would lead to Buddhahood. The dissolution of my earthbound sufferings would lead to my ability to bestow the blessings upon those I love that I could not were I to remain alive.



From a distance I watched my thought processes sinking deeper into a pit that my soul kept rooting for us to climb out of.



My sleep in those days was severely fragmented and the division between night and day was dismissed. I began to go outside at 4 in the morning and perform Kriya yoga meditations that I had been advised to do at such a deep and silent hours of the morning otherwise known as the Amrit Velum or the time when the veil between heaven and earth is the most thin.



I sat and breathed as I had been instructed with my fingers configured in the appropriate mudras, my eyes closed and focused upon the inner space between my eyebrows while chanting in Sanskrit for divine guidance. There came a moment in the proceedings that I became fatigued and disgusted with this apparently futile practice and I opened my eyes. There before me, I bullshit you not, was Jesus. He was holding my hand and had suspended a golden rope from my heart to his and I said...



'...dude, seriously, fuck off, no way...'



...and he in a misty,diaphanous, indomitably silent manner telepathically said...



'...dude, yes way....'



In the mornings that followed, the visions of Jesus continued to appear, I took that fucker to task every goddamn day.



'Some of your followers scare the shit out of me!'



'These hypocrite cocksuckers have smeared your name to shit!'



'When I was a kid, they told me to pray to you and I got left holding an empty bag full of shit like a fucking sucker!'



'They said you could defeat the devil and look at this shit on CNN!'



'And what about what happened to my father?! Explain THAT one! You fucking false lying cash generating machine preying upon the stupid and the scared! Yes I've seen your ad campaign with a spear in your side and drooling spittle upon a cross, blood streaming from your temples oooooh aren't you fucking great and I'm supposed to fall on my knees in compassion for you because your fictional ass died for us.

Fuck your lip servants!

You! Prove it! Because blind faith has done nothing for me except get me one step closer to being killed sometimes by my own hand! Which is why I wrote you off years ago!

If you are descended from a God of compassion, your ass needs to buck and do a hell of a lot better!

If you are the spawn of a jealous God who hates all forms of its image removed and reinterpreted through the lens of humanity instead of a God who celebrates all forms of his creation, I'm separating myself from your ignorance and be called a heretic while waiting for the evolution of heaven to produce a God that this planet needs rather than you, you incompetent, useless fairy tale!'



Jesus held my hand and my heart and listened while I was crying and spitting and cussing his fucking ass the hell out.



One morning came when the tirades began to run dry and his ghost began to fade that I started to hear in small silent whisperings snowballing into cascades of the words



'Leap of Faith'



Not faith in Jesus or the church or religion or other man made apparitions, but faith in myself. Not to exorcise my demons, imprison them in a brass vessel and cast with righteous vigor to the bottom of the ocean but rather give rise to a celebration of thanks for the strength they require me to manifest to overcome them in order to rise above the oppression and begin writing the next chapter of my life. Because at the culmination of every battle, I always discover a strength I never knew I possessed and for that, I must take off my hat and say thank you to Satan.



I don't like you, you black evil piece of shit but I respect you and realize your purpose. Thank you for making me stronger. Now fuck off before I churn my guts, narrow my brow, consternate my irises, focus my lasers and kick your ass again.



So it came to be, on a balmy August morning, after many yelling matches and confrontations, industrial accidents and financial catastrophes, broken promises and transparent lies, ultimatums and bellows of...



...If you motherfuckers keep this this shit up the next thing you'll see is my ass walking out the door when I fucking quit!...



...with no prospects of future employment, I stuck a dagger in the heart of my employment, spilling its guts upon the unsealed concrete floor and cast my association with those terrible employers off the crest of the nearest cliff without regard for momentary suspension or whatever jagged rocks lay below in the quietest most unceremonious manner imaginable or with so much as a backward glance or the least bit of regret, then, now or any point in between.



In the days that followed I very easily weaned myself off of Xanax and thanked my therapist for lending me his kind ear.



Dr Ken,

Dude, seriously, thank you for letting me vent and run off at the mouth so that I could find the answer for myself.



9th Gate of Hell, Inc.

Thank you for reminding the of the importance of self respect and that the equilibrium of casting pearls before swine should be a strict equation of...



Pearls-100

Swine-0



...and thank you Jesus. God knows that as a Christian, I'm nothing to write home about. I'm still not sure what happened during our early morning meetings. All I know is that you were there. Whether you came from beyond the clouds to sit with me or was the part of my psyche that removed itself from my head to observe this episode of fragility and projected a hologram upon the predawn mist, I have not a damn clue in the freaking world. All I know is that you were there. To whatever degree you were one or the other or a combination of both, I don't know and at the end of the day, I don't care. Just simply thank you.



All that matters is that there are things beyond comprehension that have our backs and will give us the shove we need to cast aside the constraints of history, preserve its lessons and kick down the doors of the next vessel of our eternity and proclaim in a loud voice...



'..I have survived, I have endured, I have learned and I have lost, I have thrived and I have died. I am your problem now. Teach me what I need to know! Quick! Before the world ends and we drag our regrets behind us to become pollution upon the walkways and spray painted obscenities blaspheming architecture in Heaven.'

As always, very humbly, I thank you for reading. 
Be strong and don't take any shit from those bastards. You're better than that.
All my love, always and forever, 
Max